Living with Fatigue

Confession time. I'm coming to the realization that I'm tired. No, not tired. Exhausted. And I'm sick of it.


Dogxausted!

In recent years I've made some connections to my health history and I've started to realize there is more to this thing than meets the eye. Any given day of the week, if you ask how I'm doing, I'm apt to respond "Tired, but good otherwise". When I try to explain how it feels, it all comes out sounding so dramatic. The best way to explain it is to compare it to those nights when you've had the busiest day ever and there you are at 2 in the morning just dead on your feet. I feel that way multiple times per day. It's hard to focus on anything productive because I just keep thinking..if only I could lay down for an hour. If I do lay down though, it's never just for an hour. I'm dead to the world for 2-3 hours at least. I'm sure you get the idea. Thinking back, I can't recall a time I didn't feel this way. I'm talking at least through high school but maybe even farther back.

Again, I'm sick of it. SICK of it. School, work, time with friends, relationships, family..it has affected all of it. And I'm worried about it. It feels like it's getting worse the older I get. I don't even have kids yet and the idea of having an infant freaks me out. Just to be honest. Infants require attention and everyone says how little sleep you get. Less sleep? Yikes! I rely on caffeine to keep me going and not only do I get withdrawal symptoms if I miss a day, but I also can't function. I'm not saying I'm grumpy, I'm saying I can't convince myself to move. It's miserable.

I'm not just writing this post to complain though. Promise. I'm writing because I feel like I can not be alone in this. I don't think anyone off the street would know how serious this issue is. You can't see it from the outside but it's life altering. And did I mention I'm sick of it? So I'm taking some steps.

First, I've done a sleep study. Sleep studies are lame. Helpful, but lame because you just don't sleep the same. I felt like I woke up every 20 seconds. The little leads they put behind my ears dug into my head and hurt. Add to that the 2 things they stick up your nose and I really felt like I couldn't breathe. I expected them to find exactly nothing wrong. Well maybe that I go right to the sleep of the dead but nothing else. I was wrong. They found that I do have some sort of apnea. They think it's significant enough that I'm not getting the rest I need. Here's the fun part...I have to do another one. You see, about half of the time I stopped breathing, it was because I had an obstructed airway. The other half, there was no clear reason. So here we go again. In a couple of weeks they're going to do it again and try a couple of things to see what helps.

Before I did the study, they did a bunch of blood tests to make sure I don't have anything like MS or Lupus and thank the heavens, all of my blood tests were looking good. I've also been reading tips online for overcoming fatigue. I'm going to try to get moving a few times a week with Jeff. You know, riding bikes around the neighborhood, getting out on the canoe, teaching my dog how to jog with me, etc. I also heard a 10 minute brisk walk in the middle of the day can help so I'm going to try to get out and take a walk during work several times a week. One of the symptoms was orthostatic issues which I've had for years. In other words, I black out when I stand up too fast, even if I haven't been sitting or laying down for long. There have been connections between those symptoms and fatigue issues it seems. So I'm going to try to *gasp* drink more water. Higher blood volume helps keep the blood a-flowin'.

I figure this is a good time to pick back up on the bloggage. I can document the experience, what has helped, what doesn't help, and what we find out. Who knows, maybe one of the five people who read my posts is going through the same thing and can give advice or take something away from my experience.

We shall see....


Hoping for Sweet Dreams