Funny Stuffs

*Disclaimer* This post contains a lot of ass. Don't say I didn't warn you!

I have a file on my computer at work that I call For a Smile. The purpose behind this little Word Doc is to remember some of the funny things I come across in at work. As I was adding something else today I thought, I should share some of this. It's this sort of thing that keeps me sane day to day so hopefully you get a kick out of it too. 

The following funnies have been genericized because I just couldn't make it in jail.

From the mouths of clients:

Client:How are you today?
Me: I'm doing well, how are you?
Client: I can't complain.
Me: Well that's good to hear.
Client: Because if I do, they beat me.

Client: I think this card was never activated
Me: You’re right, it wasn’t.
Client: The dumb shit threw it away.
Me:[hearty laughing]
Client: Did I say that out loud?
Me: Nope, I didn’t hear a thing.


Client: We have this system that I think is….ok no profanity. Think of a 4 letter word that rhymes with luck. This call is being monitored for quality purposes right? I meant shoot. I don’t care about this guy or his card. If you were out here, we’d go for a brewski.
Me: [tears rolling down face and wheezing with laughter]

Internal goodness:

Internal instant message forwarded from a coworker:
"Can you communicate the new assword to all clients?"

And to round it all off, my favorite:

From my own task list. In fairness, this is the cutoff version you see before you open up the full task